Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
