So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
