No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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