White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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