Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
