she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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