And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
