idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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