I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
