she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
