So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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