you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
There's always time for handjobs
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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