I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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