Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
