I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
