Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
