how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
