Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
