id be glad to
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
