Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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