when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm really into asian looking animals
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We have started to decorate penises.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
