when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She announced her abortion via fbk
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
