Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
