i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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