imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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