I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
