don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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