And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My vagina is very pro this idea
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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