careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Randomize