I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
