capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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