I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
