I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
