ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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