We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
