I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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