No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
