I cannot find my penis.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
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