Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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