I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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