please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
