Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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