I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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