He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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