So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
