dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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