DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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