is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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