You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
His nipple licking is glorious
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