Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
