if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
