i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Randomize
