I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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