Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Dicks are not precious.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
