i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
