She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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