sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
